Boy am I tried....

I really don't remember a time when I have felt this tired or this old. Of course I am this old and I know that I have been this tired but maybe there was a time when I just dealt with it a little better. Last year was one year of a dozzie! When I lost my dad in May I think it just threw me for a loop, never realizing that I may not have dealt with all of it. All in a year we lost a lot of ones that we loved, my niece gave birth to a baby boy that she lovingly gave to a family to adopt, and it seemed as though we spent our summer attending memorials and wiping away a lot of tears. Why am I telling you all this? Call it...keepin' it real.... I am tired of hiding all the dark secrets of my aching heart. I need to let it go and there is no better way than to put it out there. Over the last six months I have cried buckets of tears and ate my way through this thing my doctor calls depression. I have tried the medicine, I can't get myself off the couch to exercise so that is out the window so I am doing the next best thing...I am talking about it, I am venting. All the classic signs of it are there....so the best thing to do right now is to figure out what the hay to do about it. That is the question of the day. Do I spend time and money talking to someone who is a professional that is going to tell me what I already know...my mom has nothing to do with me or my family because she LOCO, my grandmother took some many meds that I never knew anything was wrong with her until my Aunt told me one day how LOCO she was See its in my genes. I can't help it that I am crazy as straight man in a gay bar. Its like its always been there just lying dormant waiting for something major to happen for me to lose control. I think that I may still be holding on, just a little, to any shred of sanity that I may have left. Who has time for all these thoughts? I must put on my wading boots and get through this somehow, some way. Life goes on and I can choose to live in it or watch from the sidelines. My friends all tell me I am strong, we will see friends just remember to keep your patient hats on and remember when I am crying or a bite your heads PLEASE FORGIVE ME and am just getting through it, but until then I think that I am going to take a Xanax, eat a pop tart and go to bed!

Call me MEAN MAMA!

They call me.....Mean & tell me I am strick, too overprotective & too involved. What do I think? I think they are right. Yea, when I don't do what they want or give into every little whim, I guess you could say that is mean. I must know where they are, who they are with, talk to parents if I have to when I drop them off, no they can't go with just any one until I know the situation, no you can't hang out if there aren't parents home, no you can't have all your friends in the car until 6 months after you have had a drivers license, YEP call me overprotective. Yes you have to clean your room, pick up your clothes & help clean the bathrooms. Yes you have to help unload the dishwasher and fold your own clothes, yes you either have to help with dinner or help cleaning up after, YEP...call me strick. I will get to know your friends & their parents & where they live, YES I will keep up with your grades and hold you NOT YOUR TEACHER responsible when homework is not done. I will come to conferences and find out what I need to about your behavior and NO I don't always believe you until I get all the facts. Yes I will be at every track meet and football game. I will be in the crowd when you sign your graduation agreement, or get inducted into BETA, I will be the one yelling the loudest when you run out onto that football field for the first time or hit your first home run. I will be sitting in the car sweating bullets when the cuts for the soccer team is made and the first to kiss you square in the month when you make it! I will get in the bed with you in the middle of the night when you are sick and will sit up until I hear the car coming in the driveway after you have attended a party in the pouring down rain. I will roll my eyes when you have a girlfriend that you "go with" but I will be the one sitting in the front seat driving you to the movies. YEP folks I am way to involved and not afraid to say it....Mama always said that you never pay for your raising until you raise your own, boy was she right. I am not afraid to say that I am all of these things and as my kids would say more. I want to be my boys friend but God gave them to me to raise, and to me that means teaching them to be responsible, law abiding, self sufficient, well behaved young men. Am I perfect? Well maybe just a little, JK (Just kiddin..JEEZZZ..I can hear some of you now) anywhoo....I make tons of mistakes each and everyday but the proof is in the puddin'. I have good kids, they have yet to rip my heart out or call me to bail them out of jail. I am proud to be a MEAN, STRICK, OVERPROTECTIVE, TOO INVOLVED MAMA....someone better report me to the cops!

Taco Soup & Mexican Cornbread

So I got the sorta recipe for Tortilla Soup from my one my favorite reads Centsational Girl...I always kinda start with a recipe and make it my own. I hate nothing worse than getting ready to make something and then realizing that you don't have all the ingredients, so like my sweet Grannie taught me just make it with what you got. One of the things I remember about her was watching her cook and NEVER EVER measuring, I am not even sure she owned measuring cups ....it was always a pinch of this or a pinch of that. She made biscuits EVERY mornin and EVER night and she could do it with her eyes closed. Okay Stacey.....focus, the soup...so I started out with this recipe and came up with my own that was OFF THE CHAIN (in the words of my kids generation) along with some Mexican cornbread....

ANYHOO here is the recipe to the best of my memory....

4/5 chicken breast

1 Packet of Taco Seasoning

1 can of corn 9 (drained)

1 small onion chopped

4 stalks of celery chopped

1 tbls. oil

3/4 Cumin

1 tbls. cilantro (fresh would be good but all I had was dried)

2 tbls Taco Sauce

1 or 2 tbls. Tabasco (more if you want it with a kick)

1 can of Chicken Broth or 4 bouillon cubes

1 can of Rotel

1 can tomato sauce or paste

First thing I did was slice my chicken breast so they weren't so thick, then covered them with the taco seasoning on both side. Using my George Foreman I grilled then until they were done. While these are cooking in a large skillet I soften the onions & celery in oil for about 3/4 mins on med. heat. When they are almost where I want them, I added the can of corn (drained) and the cilantro. Add that to a large dutch oven or whatever you cook your soup in. When you chicken is done, shred it or cut it into chucks and add it to the pot with the rest of the ingredients. Use your broth or if you are using boullion cubes add enough water to cover your ingredients. Add salt & pepper to taste & your Tabasco. Let it cook for 30/40 mins. While its cookin make your cornbread.

Mexican Jiffy Cornbread

2 boxes of Jiffy

1 can cream of corn

1 cup of cheddar cheese

any kind of peppers you might want to add depending on how hot you want it

Grease & flour a 13 x 9 inch pan. Make the jiffy using the box directions, add your cream of corn, stir in your cheese & pepper. Cook according to the jiffy directions. I didn't add the peppers just because I didn't have any.

Easssyyy Peasey

Hi..my name is.......

Okay mommies how many time have you referred to yourself as your child's mom...."Hi I'm Ryan's mom, Hi I'm Gene's mom, Hi I'm Dylan's mom....? Are you smiling right now? It is so funny to think about how much my life changed when I became a mother. I was very young when I had Ryan...graduated in May...married in Dec....had Ryan a year and a half later. Four years after came Gene then 13 MONTHS later I had Dylan (he was a preemie in case you were wondering) All my choices and decisions I made always revolved around them. My life was kinda put on hold while I became PTO mom & stay at home mom & mean mom & working mom. All the while I never complained (Well maybe a few melt downs & a couple of bottles of wine) but for the most part I felt as though it was what I was meant to be. Sure I wanted to be footloose & fancy free at times, but if ever there was anything to keep a girl grounded it is a sweet child sticking his cold feet into your back in your warm bed in the middle of the night. At the time it was a big pain in the booty to get up to feed a wailing child, but call me crazy I miss it. YES I said it. I can remember when Dylan was a baby he cried all the time, and I would cry right along with him. I was so exhausted that I stopped listening to everyone telling me "don't let him sleep with you, blah blah..." I would lay on the couch with him on my chest and sleep while he slept. Little did I know one day I would miss him being completely and totally dependant on me. Now at the age of 20, 16 & 15 they know everything and I know nothing. It has been hard to let go. I don't even realize sometimes that I am still holdin on too tight. It is hard to not be needed as much. Sure my 20 yr. old (home from college for Christmas) wakes me up in the middle of the night because he is sick and wants his mom, and mom gets up and gets in the bed with him because my heart swells with the love I feel for his big self. It is true that they NEVER stop being your babies no matter how they hurt your feelings, get in trouble or just plain smart a***s, it is unconditional. The hardest thing for me now is learning how to be something other than Ryan's mom or Gene's mom or Dylan's mom....sure they will always need me and I will always be there but one day they will have families of their own and I will be alone with the hubby (and the bottles of wine) so I might want to go out quick and get me a life. So the next time a women tells you she needs to find herself...don't chuckle, just ask her how many kids does she have. AND BY THE WAY.....................HI MY NAME IS STACEY!!!!!!!

Dream Sam...witches

This eating right crap bites the big one....but these little beauts are a little piece of heaven. I am not even sure what to call them except good....and easy, and I all about easy!

Chocolate graham crackers, reduced fat peanut butter & low fat cool whip. Spread the PB & cool whip on the crackers and freeze for a couple of hours. I promise they don't taste low fat, but I guess its a lot better for you than ice cream sand..witches! At least that's my story and I'm stickin to it!

Potato Soup Anyone?

I think this family is going to OD on Potato Soup, but who's complaining? Its easy, quick & affordable....right up my alley! I must say though that when I do have time I make the REAL homemade version...ya know with potatoes that you spend thirty mins. peeling & chopping, but who has that kinda time? Can anyone say "SEmI HoMeMadE"?

I buy whatever is on sale...Remember I am cheap.......I accidentally bought whole potatoes so I chopped them in my little choppy thingy.

Add some cream of chicken with half a can of milk, then some chicken broth (never leave home without it)

Lots of pepper..some like it hot....little salt.....

Sprinkle some shredded cheese on top (have I mention that if I don't have shredded cheese in the house I would have to leave home)

I love bacon bits with some chives AND cheese on top...but my kid don't care for all that. Talk about quick & simple. Its great for soup & sandwich night. Or leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

Potato Soup

1/2 cans whole or chopped potatos

1 can cream of chicken soup

1/2 c. milk

3/4 c. chicken broth

shredded cheese (opionial)

Goya ham flavored seasoning packet

Chopped your potatoes up if you need too, mix together milk, chicken broth & cream of chicken, add a packet of Goya Ham Flavor (this makes the soup) on med heat until it comes to a boil. Add salt & pepper to taste. Cook on low for 15/ 20 mins. Serve with shredded cheese on top. Enjoy!

Banana Nana Nana

Since it is the new year and of course we are all trying to stop something that is bad for us. Me being the fact that I love sweets and I refused to say the word "DIET" I am trying to eat better. So this has been become one of my favorite snacks......Banana with SUGAR FREE CARAMEL SAUCE....OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is so good you can't even tell that it is sugar free.

B.T.W. I didn't eat ANY Taco Bake...I am saving my calories for Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches...(recipe to be post soon)

Our Favorite Always a Hit Casserole

My family would eat this everyday if they could. It it easy and I usually make it after Taco night. I always brown more ground meat than I need and use two packs of taco seasonings and then whatever leftovers I have I either make this or we have Taco salads. I HATE to waste food, so I try my best to use whatever is leftover for something. Here is the recipe:

Taco Bake

1 box of Mac & Cheese (I prefer the shells & cheese)

1 container of Sour Cream

Taco Meat (already browned and seasoned)

Tortilla Chips chrunched up

Shredded Cheese (I use sharp but whatever you have)

Mix it all together...except chips. Cover with foil and bake for about 20/25 mins, take foil off and top with crunched up chips and shredded cheese, put bake in the oven and bake until cheese is melted.

Enjoy!

Some of my weekend finds

Okay have not been much in the mood for bloggin lately but there was a couple of things to share. Found my new favorite store this week....Hotel Cash Liquidators. I went in to look for a dresser for Ryan's room but found a light fixture for my newly redo bathroom for $19 and a picture with a big wide mat for $1. Mind you I have wanted to change out that light fixture since we moved here but I am too cheap to spend $40 on a new one, so this was right up my alley. Got it home and cleaned it up and hubby put 'er up. I could spend hours in this warehouse, but of course I picked the coldest day of the year to stop by and there is no heat, so I had to make my stop quick. There was so many projects that I could see myself doing I had to go home and write it down. They have headboards for $5 can you believe that $5. I can't wait to go back and get it, but first things first. All the furniture there is hotel furniture but they have some really good deals and sometimes you can get things a little cheaper (if you are nice enough to ask)

Saturday I had to get my fix on at the thrift store. I LOVE our little Circle of Care in our tiny little town and Saturday's visit didn't disappoint. This is the best time of year for any second hand places because most everyone is "out with the old, and in with the new" (Me like the old) I scored a pretty good ottoman that needs a little cleaning and some sewing at the bottom for $5. An Izod sweater for Gene for $2a couple of pieces of decorative glass, and a couple of other things OOOHHH and some really pretty picture frames that I can't wait to find some old black and white pictures for. Although I do get a thrill out of rambling through treasures I must contain myself for awhile and finish the projects that I have already started. SSHHH! Don't tell the hubby I might change my mind.

Lovin' Me Some CVS

Okay ladies get out all those coupons that you have been saving for makeup. Right now CVS has tons of their makeup 75% off, that's right 75% off. With your coupons its almost like getting it free. I ran in to my local one yesterday at lunch time and they had tons. Some of it is not marked so if they have one of those scannin' machines you can just scan the item. Look for the tiny green 75% off sticker. Its like Christmas all over. Me lovin some CVS!

Some of my FAVORITE things

Okay I am going to let you in on a little secret...I had to drag this one out of my MIL (mom in love)I came home from working to find my ever loving hard water stained bathroom sparkling clean...how? I ask and she smiled and said "oven cleaner" that's right ladies...oven cleaner. Now its one of my favorite things to clean with. Just spray those soap scum shower down let it sit for a few and wipe away. Mine you the smell is not the most pleasant and I have to turn on the fan but it works miracle. I buy the low fume kind so its not to bad and I only have to scrub it down really good once a month, the rest of the time I use scrubbing bubbles shower spray.

Have I mention that I hate how dirty my stove stays? All my appliances are black, hence all spills and slashes show up. My MIL loves to fry everything so you can imagine. When on a Wal-Mart trip I priced the drip pans (not sure that's the right name) but you know those things that are on the eye of the stove, anyhoo I couldn't believe the price so I went home and pulled out my friend the oven cleaner and soaked those babies down. With a little elbow grease & a couple of times spraying it, most of the eke came out and they looked almost new. Better than the $20 or so dollars to replace them. Oh and if you have those cookie sheets that you just can't get clean, take them outside and spray the mess out of them with the oven cleaner, wipe them down and spray 'em again. Another good idea for my new found friend.




This morning while cleaning my counter tops I noticed how dull they look. Of course they are cheap laminate so I pulled out the Lysol took everything off the counters, wiped them down and waited for them to dry. Once they were dry I pulled out the furniture polish and went to town. They look better than they did but still not the luster I wanted so next time I am at the store I am going to look for a better polish. Speaking of clean raise your hand if you hate the way all the black appliances streak when you clean them...I have the answer to that too....glass cleaner. Cheap & easy! Or you could use vinegar & water. I used microfiber towels, only because I have a hubby & my oldest son that constantly are washing their cars and refuse to use the microfiber towels that I wash with fabric softener (OPPS, MY BAD) so I get lots of leftovers. These are wonderful to clean with! Oh and the Invisible Glass that you see in the picture is my son's also, lets hope he doesn't see this, it is wonderful to clean glass with but its kinda pricey and I wouldn't spend that kinda money when I can get the Equate version for $1, I just sneak outside in his car clean box and put it back when I am done (most of the time).

Call me cheap if you must but I am a firm believer in trying to restore, fix it or paint it before I get rid of it.

Mom in Love

I guess we never realize how fortunate some of us are? I think about the people in my life and wonder what did I do to be so lucky? I have a wonderful family....needless to say we aren't the Brady Bunch, more like the Bundy's, but we laugh a lot and fight a lot and love a lot. I have a job that I enjoy and I work with people that I consider a family, I have wonderful friends that have known me my whole life and will take secrets to the grave, we live within our means and know that its a piece of mind that counts and not how big our house is. Seriously though I couldn't have gotten any more lucky than to have the mother in law that I have. I call her my mom in love because I do love her. Although I don't see my mom that often, I feel as though I have two moms. She is an example of what I want to be for a mother in law. She is selfless to a fault and can works circles around me at the age of 60. She loves the boys and get out in the yard and plays baseball and jumps on the trampoline. The boys love it when she comes because everyone eats well. I blame her for all the xtra pounds because of all those homemade biscuits. When she leaves we feel the void. She will be back when the weather warms up and once again she & I will find some kind of project to get into.

Here are a couple of projects that I worked on this week. The bathroom was painted a hunter green and just felt closed in because it is a small bathroom. Not to mention that it was not painted with bathroom paint and thats not a good idea with a small bathroom. I wanted a more of a terra cotta but it looked more like a creamsicle so my mom in love and I add some brown left over paint to it and came up with the color we like. This picture in the now new bathroom is an antique that has been in the hubby's family...it is one of my favorites. It says "Effort". (Bathroom humor) Anyhoo...loved the way it turned out. Thanks mom in love!

I have fell in love with chalkboard paint! I am a chalkboard painting fool! All those pictures that were getting ready to make the trip to the goodwill have now found a new life. I have made one for everyone's room. Even for Ryan at college. The only thing about this paint is that it is a little pricey (for me but I am cheap!)

Okay, on to my favorite project this week.....I have been buggin hubby to build me something to put in our bathroom for almost a year, then I had this idea. This little beaut was bought at a church sale over a year ago. It came as a set with the queen bed frame. At the time I didn't need the hutch but they were only asking $10 for both. This sat in various rooms being used for storage until this week. *I tried to take a before picture but there was no card in the camera..duh! Anyhoo....it was butt ugly yellow with little flowers stenciled on top and it had some little spindles on the shelves that I pulled off and filled in with nail filler and sanded. Almost three coats of white paint later and replaced the pulls that were already on there, I had my sumpin sumpin in the bathroom....(who needs a man?) The top of it had some water damaged so I found this antique lookin curtain that I placed on top.

The wheels are turning! Can't wait to get to the local thrift stop for some more trash to treasures.