Hi..my name is.......

Okay mommies how many time have you referred to yourself as your child's mom...."Hi I'm Ryan's mom, Hi I'm Gene's mom, Hi I'm Dylan's mom....? Are you smiling right now? It is so funny to think about how much my life changed when I became a mother. I was very young when I had Ryan...graduated in May...married in Dec....had Ryan a year and a half later. Four years after came Gene then 13 MONTHS later I had Dylan (he was a preemie in case you were wondering) All my choices and decisions I made always revolved around them. My life was kinda put on hold while I became PTO mom & stay at home mom & mean mom & working mom. All the while I never complained (Well maybe a few melt downs & a couple of bottles of wine) but for the most part I felt as though it was what I was meant to be. Sure I wanted to be footloose & fancy free at times, but if ever there was anything to keep a girl grounded it is a sweet child sticking his cold feet into your back in your warm bed in the middle of the night. At the time it was a big pain in the booty to get up to feed a wailing child, but call me crazy I miss it. YES I said it. I can remember when Dylan was a baby he cried all the time, and I would cry right along with him. I was so exhausted that I stopped listening to everyone telling me "don't let him sleep with you, blah blah..." I would lay on the couch with him on my chest and sleep while he slept. Little did I know one day I would miss him being completely and totally dependant on me. Now at the age of 20, 16 & 15 they know everything and I know nothing. It has been hard to let go. I don't even realize sometimes that I am still holdin on too tight. It is hard to not be needed as much. Sure my 20 yr. old (home from college for Christmas) wakes me up in the middle of the night because he is sick and wants his mom, and mom gets up and gets in the bed with him because my heart swells with the love I feel for his big self. It is true that they NEVER stop being your babies no matter how they hurt your feelings, get in trouble or just plain smart a***s, it is unconditional. The hardest thing for me now is learning how to be something other than Ryan's mom or Gene's mom or Dylan's mom....sure they will always need me and I will always be there but one day they will have families of their own and I will be alone with the hubby (and the bottles of wine) so I might want to go out quick and get me a life. So the next time a women tells you she needs to find herself...don't chuckle, just ask her how many kids does she have. AND BY THE WAY.....................HI MY NAME IS STACEY!!!!!!!